I won't pretend that I am not a walking contradiction - I am that as much as any other person. Notwithstanding my last post here, I want to share a poem (?) I wrote not in jest but because something tugged at my heart so strongly I simply could not stop the words from flowing out. It was a scary and extremely intimate experience where I found myself looking straight into another's soul, feeling their palette of emotions and responding. This isn't something I experience every day, nor do I write any kind of poetry (I remain firmly discouraged after my 9th grade experience) - this was a strange one-off compulsion I am yet to understand. For you:
Letter to a broken heart
I read you like a book
- cover to cover -
and went through your seasons with you;
In their mismatch, you jumped
from summer to winter.
If I were a poet, which I most emphatically am not, not since the day back in high-school my ode to Paris was dismissed by some trainee French teacher... I would try using images for each line. Imagery can be so very effective at evoking mood, feeling, emotion, memory. It tells the story for the author without a sound being required, using its own unique magic. Add sound (music) or word and the story takes you elsewhere....
Do you remember your first day at school? Or, for that matter, do you remember your first day in any new environment where you knew no one and it felt like you were on show all the time? Were you afraid that you will somehow fail to fit in? What if you made a mistake? What if they disliked you? What if...? If you happen to be the risk taking, outgoing, extrovert type with no worries in the world then you won't know what I am talking about so you'll find it hard to connect with the 'first time' feelings I am hinting at.
For some of us, every new situation and new environment are a source of anxiety and self-doubt. I am in the category where putting myself out there takes a bit of effort. I see it as taking a (calculated) risk. Sometimes I win and come away with great new friends or connections; sometimes I walk away with a battered ego and loads more self-doubt...
If I have been quiet all over again it is because this summer has been pretty busy for me. No news is usually good news and mine is pretty much the summer standard. Summer holidays primarily mean entertaining my boys, so only shreds of my time are actually spent on artistic pursuits (photography excluded seeing as this is so portable).
So that I don't bore you with the full account, here are some notable moments as recorded in sketchbook or camera:
- a visit to Longleat left me in awe of the estate. I am yet to write a blog about it for my husband's tourist guiding website but the photo opportunities were marvellous. This is a collage I added to his instgram feed back in July.